The Biker Code
LIVING IT THE WAY ONLY WE CAN
I ride because it is fun. Safe and careful are not "fun". Ride smart is!
I ride because I enjoy the freedom I feel from being exposed to the elements, and the vulnerability to the danger that is intrinsic to riding.
I do not ride because it is fashionable to do so.
I ride my machine, not wear it. My machine is not a symbol of status. It exists simply for me, and me alone.
My machine is not a toy. It is an extension of my being, and I will treat it accordingly, with the same respect as I have for myself.
I strive to understand the inner-workings of my machine, from the most basic to the most complex.
I will learn everything I can about my machine, so that I am reliant upon no one but myself for it's health and well-being.
I strive to constantly better my skill of control over my machine.
I will learn its limits, and use my skill to become one with my machine so that we may keep each other alive.
I am the master, it is the servant. Working together in harmony, we will become an invincible team.
I do not fear death.
I will, however, do all possible to avoid death prematurely. Fear is the enemy, not death. Fear on the highway leads to death, therefore I will not let fear be my master. I will master it.
My machines will outlive me. Therefore, they are my legacy.
I will care for them for future bikers to cherish as I have cherished them, whoever they may be.
I do not ride to gain attention, respect, or fear from those that do NOT ride, nor do I wish to intimidate or annoy them.
For those that do not know me, all I wish from them is to ignore me. For those that desire to know me, I will share with them the truth of myself,so that they might understand me and not fear others like me.
I will never be the aggressor on the highway. However, should others mess with me, their aggression will be dealt with in as severe manner as I can cast upon them.
I will show respect to other bikers more experienced or knowledgeable than I am.
I will learn from them all I can. However, if my respect is not acknowledged or appreciated, it will end.
I will not show disrespect to other bikers less experienced or knowledgeable than I am.
I will teach them what I can. However, if they show me disrespect, they will be slapped.
It will be my task to mentor new riders, that so desire, into the lifestyle of the biker, so that the breed shall continue.
I shall instruct them, as I have been instructed by those before me.
I shall preserve and honor traditions of bikers before me, and I will pbutt them on unaltered.
I will not judge other bikers on their choice of machine, their appearance, or their profession.
I will judge them only on their conduct as bikers.
I am proud of my accomplishments as a biker, though I will not flaunt them to others. If they ask, I will share them.
I will stand ready to help any other biker that truly needs my help.
I will never ask another biker to do for me what I can do for myself. I am not a part-time biker.
I am a biker when, and where ever I go. I am proud to be a biker, and hide my chosen lifestyle from no one.
I ride because I love freedom, independence, and the movement of the ground beneath me.
But most of all, I ride to better understand myself, my machine, the lands in which I ride, and to seek out and know other bikers like myself. _____________________

The Biker Creed
1. Respect the person who has seen the dark side of motorcycling and lived!
2. Catching a June bug on your face @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.
3. Saddlebags will not hold everything you want, but they will hold everything you need.
4. Wear boots, you can't kick things with tennis shoes.
5. Never argue with a pissed off biker.
6. Routine maintenance cannot be neglected.
7. It takes more love to share a saddle, than it does to share a bed.
8. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rear view mirror.
9. Bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows.
10. A two lane blacktop isn't a highway, its an attitude.
11. Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.
12. If it takes more than three bolts to hold it on, it's probably critical.
13. Remember, you will be judged not only by the horse you ride, but also by how you ride your horse.
14. Don't ride so late into the night, that you sleep through the sunrise.
15. Burgers and beer are as important as gasoline.
16. The number of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly proportional to the number of spectators.
17. Never ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm.
18. Sometimes it takes a whole tank of gas before you can think straight.
19. If you want to have a job, you may have to compromise your principals. You may even have to shave.
20. Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.
21. Never hesitate to ride into unknown territory.
22. Never mistake horsepower for staying power.
23. I'd rather have experience and good reflexes, than luck.
24. A cold burger in tinfoil can be reheated by strapping it to an exhaust pipe for fifty miles.
25. Never do less than forty miles before breakfast.
26. If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride.
27. A bike on the road is worth two in the shop.
28. There are two kinds of bikers, those who've been down, and those who are goin down.
29. New riders pick a destination, old riders pick a direction.
30. Respect your fellow riders, it may be one of them doing CPR on you someday.
31. Getting lost, just means you get to ride farther.
32. Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.
33. Always back your bike to the curb and sit where you can see it.
34. Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes.
35. Whatever it is, its better in the wind.
36. The worst day on a bike, is still better than the best day in a cage.
37. A biker can smell a party 50 miles away.
38. Take care of your horse, and it will take care of you.
39. If I have to explain, you won't understand.
40. People are like motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.
41. More races are lost in the tavern than on the track.
42. Never loan your bike to a stranger.
43. The best alarm clock, is a big V-Twin..
44. Remember to pay as much attention to your woman as you do your bike.
45. The best cure for a hangover, is sunshine on chrome.






What is a
REAL BIKER?

This is a question that will invariably engender great debate, argument, rhetoric, verbosity, emotion, and will produce more questions. Herein, I stipulate that the term "biker" is not a term within itself, but rather invokes a degree of state-of-being. A more appropriate question should be, "How much of a biker is a real biker?."

Here listed are qualifiers. These attributes, of a real biker, are rated by the term "spokes". I use this simply as a grading system. The more "spokes" a person has, the more of a biker he is. In other words, a biker with 15-spokes can comfortably feel more righteous than a biker with only 2- spokes.

Traditionally, the biker is male. We can never get away from that fact, but I discuss gender later.

This is not presented as a merit badge system or as a goal. These "spokes" would be normally gathered by a person simply by existing and living the lifestyle.

Each item listed rates 1-spoke (unless stated). Other than the first item, spokes are gathered in any order.

SECTION ONE, THE MOTORCYCLE

FIRST ITEM - To have a motorcycle. Any mode of transportation, capable of carrying a person, that fits the description: "n. A two-wheeled motor vehicle resembling a heavy bicycle, sometimes having two saddles and a sidecar with a third wheel." - American Heritage Dictionary, and loves the rapport with nature, and the wind in his face. This item by itself will give you a spoke.

ITEM - To have a righteous motorcycle. This is a motorcycle that is accepted as a "kool ride" by those that consider themselves bikers also. This is an automatic Spoke for a Harley-Davidson. It does include a highly customized foreign bike that has one or more of these listed customizations: hard-tailed, with high c.c., extended front end, customized paint job, bobed, lowered, or engine tuned for performance. You get another Spoke if you did the customizing yourself, or if you customize the other makes of stock "kool ride". Other stock motorcycles that rate a Spoke are the older English bikes, i.e., Triumph, Norton, Aerial, et.al. (The new Triumph is a foreign bike.) Also, any of the older American bikes, i.e., Indian, Henderson, et.al. This Item offers two spokes, or more, if you have more than one righteous motorcycle. (Any reference to motorcycle forthwith, meets the description in this Item.)

ITEM - If your only source of transportation is your motorcycle, you get a Spoke.

ITEM - You get a Spoke (each time), if you have ridden your motorcycle more than 600 miles to any of the National Meets, i.e., Daytona, Sturgis, Laconia, et.al. You get one-half point for any distance less than 600 miles. You only get one-half Spoke if you trailered or packed your motorcycle. You rate another Spoke if you did an Iron-Butt trip of more than 2 days and more than 1,000 miles for any reason (each time).

ITEM - If you have ridden your motorcycle in local Meets, of less than 600 miles, 2 or more times a year. This includes Toy Runs, charity runs, hell-of-it runs, or any planned event. You get one Spoke for each year. (The standard of 600 miles was chosen as explained in EZ Riders magazine as the distance of a single day good-ride.)

ITEM - Broken Wings. A Spoke earned for each set earned. (You lose a Spoke if you don't understand.)

ITEM - Give yourself a Spoke for every time you ever pushed your bike more than half-a-mile, rather than leave it.

ITEM - If you've owned a motorcycle of any type for more than half your life from age 10, you get a Spoke.

ITEM - If you've ever moved your bike into any room of your house (or motel room) for any reason, you earn a Spoke.

ITEM - If you've ever ridden in inclement weather, that a kager wouldn't try, you earn a Spoke. If you've ever put on a full-face helmet simply to protect your face from snow, sleet, or rain, you lose a Spoke.

ITEM - If you've ever slept next to your bike at a freeway rest-stop, you earn a Spoke.

ITEM - If you've ever "pegged" another biker (you know, pushed him and his bike with your foot) for any distance, take a Spoke.

ITEM - Motorcycle Mechanical Aptitude. You rate a Spoke if you do your own Tune-ups, and minor repairs. This includes repairing flats (dismounting, repairing tube, re-mounting), ignition timing, points/condenser/coil replacement, carburetor maintenance, or chain/belt maintenance or replacement. You get another Spoke if you do your own major overhaul top-end (less machine work). This includes break-down, replacement of wrist-pins, pistons, piston rings, jugs, rocker boxes, push rods, etc. You get another Spoke if you can do a lower-end overhaul (break cases). Another Spoke is available if you do your own gear-box (transmission) overhaul. If you've taken the extra effort to get appropriate tools/equipment to do all the related machine work, give yourself another Spoke. A Spoke is available to you, if you do your own major customizing, i.e. replacing/extending front-end (triple T maintenance), lowering, and painting. Give yourself, yet another, Spoke if you have the talent for pin-striping, custom-painting, leather-work, etching, or molding.

SECTION TWO - ATTITUDE

ITEM - You rate a Spoke if you've ever broken your hand (or any other bone) in a bar fight.

ITEM - You rate a Spoke if you've broken a cue-stick, for any reason.

ITEM - You rate a Spoke, if you believe a person should take care of his own business.

ITEM - If you've been charged with any crime, you get a Spoke. If you've been convicted, you get another Spoke. (This is not for each time. You don't get credit if you're caught more than once.)

ITEM - If you refuse to get a motorcycle endorsement on your driver's license as a matter of principle, and would rather pay the fine, you get a Spoke.

ITEM - If you refuse to silence your motorcycle, as a matter of principle, and would rather pay the fine, you get a Spoke. (In other words if you comply with societies rules, simply because you are afraid of the consequences, you don't get any Spokes.)

ITEM - If you've ever stopped to help an unknown fellow biker on the road, you get a Spoke.

ITEM - If you've ever been asked to leave (or not permitted to enter) a restaurant or other public place, grab a Spoke.

ITEM - If you have been given a "biker name" from your peers, and insist that this is your "real" name, you get a Spoke. If a bank honors a check written to your biker-name, you get another Spoke. If your signature is (or includes) your biker name, you get a Spoke. If you've convinced your associates, or neighbors to call you by your biker-name you earn a Spoke. If one or more of your marriage ceremonies includes your biker-name, you get a Spoke.

SECTION THREE - RELATIONSHIPS

ITEM - If you've ever bonded your bike to get a brother out of jail (or yourself), you get a Spoke.

ITEM - If you've ever given a woman away for a used pack of cigarettes, you get a Spoke.

ITEM - If you've ever picked your motorcycle over a woman's wishes, you get a Spoke.

ITEM - If any of your ol' ladies ever worked in a topless bar for you, you get a Spoke.

ITEM - If any of your ol' ladies ever "flashed" a policeman, you get a Spoke. If she just flashes anyone 2 or 3 times a month, you also get a Spoke.

ITEM - If your lady supports and believes in your lifestyle, over any situation, you earn a Spoke.

ITEM - If you've traveled any distance to help a brother (this term used to define a friend of like mind, his property or his family), add a Spoke.

ITEM - If you've stood and supported your brother in any public altercation or event, you earn a Spoke.

SECTION FOUR - SILENT PROTEST
(The silent protest is a term used for the personal appearance or presentation to the world indicating a despisement of a society that has become too cumbersome, too nosey, over-regulated and restrictive.)

ITEM - Recognizing and accepting that tattoos are an excellent representation of the Silent Protest, one Spoke. Having a tattoo gives you another Spoke. Having tattoos of more than 20 % of your body gives another Spoke. Having tattoos in normally socially offensive areas, such as hands, face, genitals, or buttocks is also another Spoke. The same Spokes can be given for piercing's.

ITEM - Having a hair style that is not normally socially acceptable, such as mohawk, shaved (especially with tattoos), or unusually long, is a Spoke.

ITEM - Dressing in a matter of comfort and personal preference and ignoring social norms of pretense; especially in public events, earns a Spoke.

ITEM - If your legs are pale (untanned), grab a Spoke.

ITEM - If you've ever farted in an elevator or other unacceptable place, grab a Spoke.

ITEM - If you shave your beard as a personal preference for comfort and not because it is socially acceptable or expected, take a Spoke.

ITEM - If you've ever worn a T-shirt that has a totally disgusting or anti-social message written on it (especially in a public place), take a Spoke.

ITEM - If you got a bell hanging on your bike somewhere, you get a Spoke. (Don't have to know why, just have one.)

ITEM FROM READER - Membership in a club: 1% = 5 spokes - A.M.A. or H.O.G.= Minus 5 spokes.

SPECIAL ITEM - If you find yourself without a bike (for any reason), you lose 34 (thirty-four) Spokes. It is possible to be a biker-less biker. You may be at a minus Spoke level, but what the heck...get a bike.

This is the last of the items, but I don't pretend there are no more. The term "biker" is a matter of extreme heart and is basically a matter of keeping your ideals in spite of anything. These items are presented only as one man's view, and is subject to debate; but can be a standard of traditions.

As far as the ladies, in this day and age, I find that the female has become a part of the traditional male role of the biker life, and I'm willing to admit that these items can apply to them too. Just reverse the gender.

So, using this standard, one can say, "I'm a biker with 15 Spokes," or "5", or whatever. Pretty silly, huh? But, something like this is necessary whenever the question comes up now-a-days, "What is a real biker?"


RELATIONSHIPS
Disclaimer: Views expressed here are not necessarily those of anyone else.
That is absolutely OK.

What's a man to do? How can anyone understand the inimical female? Even women don't understand women. Most of them don't even understand their selves. (I speak in generalities here. There are women that can bench press 250 lbs, wrestle alligators, run over a dog instead of crashing the bus, and beat Big Blue in a chess tournament (well not that last, not yet). But there have always been men that cook, care for children, and butler. The great comeback, of course, is women would love to see a man have a baby, well that's the point of this dissertation.)

I hereby share some of my views. These views are based on research, Desmond Morris being my favorite PhD., and observations from five marriages.

Back in the cave man days, roles in relationships were very clear. These roles were iron bound if humanity wanted to survive and procreate. The females were in the supportive role. This, simply, because childbearing limited their freedom and physical abilities.

Nature played a large part in shaping relationships in humanity. Ever wonder why women are smaller than men? Or why they have a higher pitched voice? Or even why they are not as muscular, have less hair, are more sensitive, more trusting, or even why they think in a less serious way? (Before you ladies take umbrage, everything here is easily verified through research with reputable anthropologists, or psychologists, or simply by poll.) Nature made them that way to resemble children. Nature did that to bring out the protectiveness in men. Nature figured that if men felt protective towards women, and their children, they might return to the camp with the game (dinner) and share, and keep the saber tooth's at bay. This way humanity might have a chance to survive. Because of this, the controversy of putting women in combat is not necessarily the issue. Its the subliminal issue of having children in combat that is the issue. Nature, also took a hand in cementing relationships by giving women breasts. The human female, is the only creature (mammal or otherwise) to have breasts. Other mammals have dugs or teats and only some of these swell to fullness when nursing. Even the female nipple is not genetically engineered to function as well for nursing. So, you may wonder why this is. It seems that, in order to create a stronger bond with a male, women needed to create a link between the pleasures of copulation and remembrance with whom the copulation took place. Breasts moved the act from 'doggie style' to 'missionary style'. So now, the cave man related more with the pleasures of sex with a particular woman. So, now, when he brought dinner back to the camp, he was hoping to get together with a particular female that gave him so much pleasure. We can only assume he was more successful when he brought the food. What this means is that female breasts resemble buttocks in order to suggest sexuality.

So what happens now? In this modern technological welfare society, all of the above becomes less important, but that doesn't mean that its left us. These instincts are still genetically installed in the cerebral cortex of men. Some men are better able to understand this concept. Other men, especially the less educated, or those that confuse the cerebral cortex with alcohol or drugs have a much harder time in understanding the 'liberated woman' concept. No wonder domestic violence is on a rise.

It amuses me to see the so called 'liberated' woman nowadays, still wear makeup. The history of makeup and fashion is interesting in that it propagates the vulnerable child, or is a direct sexual come on. Cases in point:
1. Lipstick is solely intended to suggest inflamed labia (only incidentally is it a lip balm).
2. Mascara and eye enhancing cosmetics create the large eyed innocence of a child (and to bring out the protectiveness of the male and promotes sexual attraction).
3. Perfume, of course, is a blatant attempt to sexually attract by pheromones.
4. High heels were developed only as a means to make the buttocks sway seductively when walking (only incidentally does it add height).
5. Sports bras are the only bras that really do what they are supposed to do, provide support. Most other bras are designed to enhance the cleavage or to otherwise promote the sexual attraction of the upper buttocks. No wonder men get confused, and then the women have the audacity to slap him with sexual harassment. It does seem that women want their 'cake and eat it too'.

Technology, education, and welfare have made women's liberation an issue. It is not nature that made women equal to men. Even a child pointing a gun can be equal to any man, and removing the possibility of child bearing from a woman by the invention of the pill has given more female freedom. This is not to mention all the new labor saving devices in the kitchen; heretofore the purview of the 'lady of the house'. It is hard to believe that the woman of the 1800's only baked a cake once or twice a year. She just didn't have the time. I do give credit to the women of the past. The skill and fortitude involved in running and caring for a household and raising children is nothing short of immense. A woman, in those days, that helped with the farm chores or had a part time job did those on top of running the house. Now, with women entering the work force and abandoning the house, who does the housework? In my observations, I find that it doesn't get done; except in those rare occasions where the spouses work together, or they pay someone. (I mention spouses, because the children are rarely any help at all, regardless of sex or age. (The next change in society will, of course, be 'children liberation'; and that is another subject.) Still on the subject of technology, I can see where 'women in combat' can be a viable concept. Particularly as a pilot. Technological combat aircraft, like a gun, can make anyone equal. But, on the ground, as a grunt (or even as a laborer), you have different issues. I once read in TIME magazine a female Army Colonel relate some experiences. One in particular was in the recent KOSOVO/BOSONIA arena where female soldiers were expected to dig fighting holes along with the men. They couldn't (or wouldn't) do it or keep up. They ended up watching the men work, and this lead to a morale problem. Where is the equal pay for equal work?

Educating a woman can make her an equal to any man in her field, but does this mean she is more than man the laborer? And, finally, this welfare state has even removed the requirement for the presence of a family provider.

What has happened now, is that the roles have become obscured. Because of technology and law, women have taken their place as equals in a once male dominated society. Men are having to adjust to a new concept. When a man can't adjust, he runs up against obstacles to contentment. He finds that he must deal with a woman as an equal (as another man), but the sexual connotations complicates everything. Many men simply become emasculated, run afoul of the law, or just simply wonders why he can't have contentment with a woman.

Growing up with this societal change in genders, I've found a way to cope. I've given up and accepted the fact. I am now a proponent of the E.R.A. and hope they pass it some day. (If they want it so bad, let them have it. The fact that it hasn't happened speaks volumes.) My contentment relies on the concept to not let a women ever have a righteous anger. (Unreasonable anger is always part of the female physiology and shouldn't be an issue; unless you let it.) I've passably mastered the art of running a home and caring for children, and I've learned enough not to rely on a woman for anything.
This is not to say that their company is not great and that they definitely add quality to life, but my world will not end in their absence.
I also believe in no double standards. My beliefs are mine and mine alone, and I can respect that in others as well. Finances in running a house/home should be split. I insist on separate bank accounts and separate taxes. Separate cars is a godsend. I expect nothing. If household chores don't get done, we live in it, or I do them. If I am uncomfortable, for any reason, or if my presence is a problem, I leave. If any thing of mine is in the way, or is a matter of contention, I will move it, sell it, or give it away. I try not to have a valid debt to any woman. When things are done (volunteered) for me or for the household, I endeavor to be appreciative and return the favor soonest (no debt). By preference I do not alter my thinking or emotions by artificial means. I remember that the worst part of a hangover, was asking some female for forgiveness. (Bah!) In other words, I endeavor to be more of a man, so that no woman can think less of me. If I am deemed insensitive, cold, or independent of emotion, so be it. Some part of a man should remain.

Probably, the greatest thing I have learned, is that I only have control over myself. I move myself. I control my possessions and my finances. I decide my appearance. It is an impossible task to try to control another human being, and I don't even try. Conversely, the only control anyone can hold on me, are those that I consciously allow. This works for me, for now. I have a measure of content. But I do see that this Great American Society is definitely headed for a fall.